Had I not checked my calendar [and the fact I wore jeans to work] I'd have sworn it was Monday! My first mistake of the day was actually getting up and going to work. I should have known when they gave me the wrong size tea at Chik-fil-A that it was going to be a VERY bad day!

My second mistake of the day was turning on my phone once I got to my desk at work. I'd barely gotten the stupid thing turned on when I get some bonehead from New Jersey on the line who spent the next 25 minutes complaining about everything from the company we work for to the computer he uses to the strange growth that has developed in the crack of his ass [MY guess is that it's his HEAD!]......

No sooner had I gotten off the phone when I made my THIRD mistake of the day by answering a call that had been holding specifically for me for 15 of those 25 minutes I was on the phone with Guido Lattaciacchionenoodle. I pick up the line and here's the jerk that has spent the better part of the last several months trying his best to make me feel & look like a complete idiot. He's pissed because--GASP!--I have once again had the GALL to do my job!!! So this guy spends the next 10 minutes telling me just how much of a dumbass he thinks that I am, being VERY careful not to use that exact term because he knows the call is being recorded, but still making his point. Get this though....regardless of the fact that I'm reading to him instructions on how this certain job was to be done, he informs me that it is NOT my job to follow those directions because it doesn't coincide with what HE wants to do. Yes. He ****REALLY**** said that. All I could do at that point was tell him, "Look. Someone MUCH higher on the totem pole here has given me specific instructions on how my job is to be performed and if you have even the slightest inclination that I'm going to do it YOUR way just because YOU say so, you are very SADLY mistaken." Now here's the funny part...after I *finally* manage to get this festering boil off my phone line, I take a closer look at the order and realize that he'd just made a complete fool of himself BECAUSE----

The order that he was bitching about my having sent to his computer was actually the last [and most critical] part of a two part software upgrade. He'd said that he had not done this part because it had NOTHING to do with the first part of it......HOWEVER....in order for the upgrade to have WORKED, the 2nd part HAD to be completed!! THIS means that he documented that the upgrade was COMPLETED, when in fact it had NOT...meaning that he falsified company records!!  



My FOURTH mistake of the day was going to my brother-in-law's surprise birthday party after work. I get there and start to fire up the video camera and instantly see RED. Who should I see lurking around in the building but my sister's recently arrested for forgery sister-in-law!!! YES!!! That inbred, check forging, adultering, backwoods bayou bimbo had the NERVE to show up for the party!! Unfortunately the invitations for the party had been sent out BEFORE this whole arrest thing and Jethrine just assumed she was still invited. My sister, being the South's answer to Martha Stewart, figured that it would be impolite to throw the bitch out on her ear [even though yours truly offered to do it FOR her!] so she was allowed to stay so long as she kept clear of my sister AND my nephew! GRRRRRR.....my sister is TOO nice sometimes!!

If that whole situation wasn't bad enough, yet again I ended up getting my feelings stomped into the ground. Not long ago I talked about how my sister never lets me keep my nephew for any longer than a few hours and NEVER at MY house....well I'd convinced myself that it was mainly because she just doesn't like the idea of him being away for an extended period of time. That theory got blown to hell when I heard one of my sister's coworkers talking about how much FUN she has had during all the times that my nephew has gone to her house.....and then ANOTHER coworker was saying the same thing!! Basically my nephew has spent a lot of time with everyone ELSE except for ME!   

*sigh

Oh well. At least the food was good!