Don't get me wrong.....I like old people. They're very interesting folks when you get their stories of the way things were in days gone by, they're awesome cooks, and they love to spoil their grandchildren. God help them though, they can NOT drive!!!!!
Yep! It's time for another episode of "Driving with BryM"!!
So here I am on my way to work this morning, driving down the highway minding my own business when I see about a half mile ahead of me this car going up the ramp to get onto another road. There was nothing unusual about THAT until I saw this car turn around and head back DOWN the ramp!! I said to myself, "I sure hope for that idiot's sake that no one gets onto the ramp!"
As I get a bit closer to the ramp, I speed up a little bit to get into the passing lane, ASSUMING that this BONEHEAD going the wrong way down the ramp is going to slip into the right lane. You can just take a wild guess what this MORON does....goes right into the LEFT lane!!! I have to slam on my brakes, swerve over into the right lane whereupon my truck begins to fishtail!!! My tires were squealing and I was praying that I didn't smash into this person....this thank GOD was one of the times when Christine the Truck showed her love for me!! By some miracle, I kept the truck under control and was able to survive the ordeal without crashing into anyone or anyTHING!!
And then....it was ON!!!
After Christine corrected herself, I looked in my rearview mirror and saw that everyone that had been behind me had dramatically slowed down...almost as if they were EXPECTING what came next: I spotted the SHIT FOR BRAINS driver that had almost caused a hurrendous crash in my side mirror.....as it turns out, it was a woman whom I'm almost positive was old enough to have taught George Washington in high school!! I slowed down to let her catch up with me---did I mention that by "slowing down" I had to almost come to a complete STOP??!! She couldn't have been doing any more than 45MPH---in a 65MPH zone---on a major highway---in the PASSING LANE!!! So anyway, I let her get up beside me and what I saw next REALLY.....
REALLY....pissed me off! She was wearing those dark plastic shades that you get when your eyes have been dialated at the optometrist's office!!! Not only was this woman STUPID, but she was also apparently BLIND!!!
As I said before, I really DO like old people...but this particular old bat had just moved herself to the top of my shit list!! I rolled down my window, blew the horn and yelled things at her that I'd rather NOT repeat here.....and the heifer IGNORED me!!! Of course in hindsight, I'm guessing that on top of the whole stupid/blind thing she was also DEAF!!
After my attempt at hurling insults at this woman failed, I sped up and went about my business. A couple of minutes later I looked in my rearview mirror and saw the Jeep that had been behind me when I almost crashed into Granny Dipshit...the guy driving was laughing his ass off at me! Apparently he'd seen me stick my head out the window and yell at this woman!
And in other news:
---> Each month at work we have a 'party' for the folks who have a birthday in that month. Ten dollars is collected from each person who wishes to participate and then the money is used to order food from a local restaurant. So yesterday I threw in my $10 for this lunch and was told we'd be having Japanese food (which I love ALMOST as much as Chinese food!)...and all was right with the world.
Today rolls around and I'm finding myself quite excited because not only was I getting Japanese food BUT it also meant that I wouldn't have to GO anywhere for lunch!! We were told the food would be delivered by noon, which was fine because that meant I could eat and THEN "go to lunch"....
So 1pm rolls around and still no food. Since I hadn't eaten breakfast, you can imagine that I was quite famished by that point. Then 1:15 rolls around and STILL no food so I decide to go outside and smoke a cig and make a phone call. This took a total of about 15 minutes altogether. When I come back inside I discovered two very ANNOYING things.....not only was the food not Japanese, but it wasn't even THERE anymore!! There was NOTHING left except for two breadsticks that looked like someone had taken a bite of and about a fork full of this nasty looking pasta stuff!! I was *NOT* happy. I had paid $10 for a fork full of pasta and breadsticks that had been gnawed on??!!
I go and sit back down at my desk *FUMING*....then one of the hens asks me, "aren't you going to eat?!" I replied, "Eat WHAT? There's nothing left!" I didn't say anything else on the matter other than "I'll be damned if I put money into THIS again...." A few minutes later I get a mass email from the lady who'd planned the thing asking, "Did everyone get to eat? If not, please let me know..." My response was short and to the point: "NEGATIVE". Within a couple of minutes, she came to my desk, apologized, and gave me back my $10. I found out a little later that I hadn't been the only one who'd gotten left out....my BOSS also didn't get anything!! He was no happier than I was about the situation as you can well imagine!
I think it's safe to say that even though I got my money back, I still won't be participating in this again! After what happened at MY birthday, I shouldn't have even given in this time, but oh well....
That's about it for now...is it Friday yet??
ANd this morning my VAN almost got a little red car embedded in the driver's side. In the school parking lot. I dropped my daughter off at her summer 'academy' classes and was preparing to exit unto the departure drive when out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of a red streak and stepped on my brakes. I saw a little red sport number with a HS age blonde behind the wheel racing from the back of the parking lot for the 'exit' lane. By ALL means honey...go ahead! After all, I'm sure you have some pressing lip lock appt. with your latest quarterback bf! sheesh.
I can just picture you sticking your head out the window of your truck and yelling at that poor old bat
As for the food thingy at work I wouldn't give to it either even if they did give your money back....I have always taken a lunch when I use to work Full time.. But that again in itself is another story..
You have a better Thursday ok.. And watch out for
GLoria
Sounds like my week!
I say you and I just hang it all up and move to Kenya to become traveling yo-yo salesmen!
You in?
I watched a show a few weeks back that had amazing stories on it about traffic stops. A police officer had pulled a guy over for speeding. He took the guy back to the cruiser to write up the ticket and to show him the radar and at what speed he had been clocked at. The guy said he couldn't see the number on the radar. They guy said he had been declared legally blind and could barely see shapes and shadows
Well, drive safe, glad I came by your blog!
Anyway, have a nice day, I have to get ready to go out on the highway
luv ya,
n.
But at least you got a blog out of it (gotta look on the bright side).
True story: I was 10 and waiting for my bus to arrive, a car came hurling at me, right onto the side walk. I ran backwards and she hit me and the telephone pole at the same time.
We found out later that she was legally blind, had a DRs appointment, who ever was supposed to drive her didn't show so she decided to drive herself.
It really annoys me that the Driver's Ed teacher wouldn't let your husband come in and talk to the kids...it would have been good for the kids to know that it takes a LOT more time for a truck like that to stop--something they should consider when they pull in front of one for any reason!
... and that doesnt sound like a GREAT time?
Let's pack!