See, I told you I wouldn't be gone for long! My project has progressed along well enough to allow for some distraction time, i.e. keeping up with a regular blog.

I took a very well deserved and desperately needed trip away from home this past weekend to visit my aunt in Charleston! It was a very nice trip...visiting her is always somewhat motivating...it's nothing that she says or does, it's basically just being around her and her type of life that gets me inspired to do things differently in my life. So, upon my return, I am rejuvenated and ready to face things again. I even got a bit of good news while I was down, but I don't want to jinx it, so I'm not going to say anything publicly right now.

My nephew Eli was on the trip with me (my sister went too)..and he learned how to do something while we were down...he learned how to climb up a flight of stairs and give me a heart attack! Once he mastered it, he was eventually able to get up the stairs as fast as me! Of course, this meant keeping both eyes glued to him just about all weekend!

Ok, that's about it for my first post back! Later folks!

While stopping by to amuse myself with the antics of my friend Nightbug, I decided to pop in on my own blog. *sigh..It's looking so plain these days!

I'm still in the infancy of my project..i.e., the dreaded "outline" stage! I'm beginning to wonder if I shouldn't just sit down and start typing and then just rearrange as necessary later on. I'm one of those writers who can only write one of two ways: I can either sit down and just start word vomiting onto the screen, or I can take my time, draw up an outline of what I want to write about, and then get to it. The only problem with that is I have a tendency to veer off subject when I try to follow an outline. Damnit.

The GOOD thing about being in the early stages is that I do still have the option of just scrapping the whole initial idea for my project and begin anew. I'm still contemplating that. GRRRR...I'm so damned indecisive I can't even stand myself sometimes!

And in other news:

I have been informed that there is a cougar on the loose somewhere in the vicinity of my charming subdivision. Yes. A cougar. And not the one made by Ford.

Well, that's all I have for this brief appearance on Blogstream. I'll check in sometime in the near future with an update on the project!

It's with a heavy heart that I announce my last post here on Blogstream. Ok, so my heart isn't heavy in the LITERAL sense...

After many different looks, title changes, failed spin-off attempts, and other issues over the last year and a half, I'm tired. I think that my creative side has fizzled out, and I'd like to finish this thing up before it really starts to show in my posts. Now, there are those who will say, "be yourself..", "don't worry about being creative...", etc. etc....but let's face it...no one wants to READ a boring blog any more than I want to WRITE a boring blog.

So, that's it. As I fade into blog oblivion, I those of you who took time to read my posts remember me fondly. I bid you...adieu.....

>>>>>>>>Ok, I was just kidding. I'm not really ending my blog permanently. I am taking a hiatus, but not a permanent one. I'm actually going to start on a project that I've been wanting to do for a very VERY long time..one that a lot of my friends AND my family have been encouraging me to do as well..I'm writing a BOOK! Yes..it's true. I figure I might as well do something constructive with my time off! I'll be checking in from time to time...hopefully with something worth reading!! Take care!

I guess there are a lot of things that I assume most people know: Don't socialize with people who are pushing a shopping cart filled with all of their worldly belongings while sporting the stench of three years worth of non bathing; Don't put your wet hands on an electrical outlet; and don't feed seagulls.

Clearly, I've assumed too much. Especially when it comes to my friend that I had lunch with this afternoon. As we sat in my truck eating various goodies from Chick-Fil-A, my friend decided that he would throw a piece of chicken to the one lone seagull that was walking around in the parking lot. As he flung the small piece of chicken out the window, I warned him that there would be other seagulls circling us within seconds. He scoffed at the idea, pointing out that there were no other birds in sight.

Twenty minutes later, my truck was surrounded by screaming seagulls, demanding more food. Bits of bread didn't satisfy them. People driving by were horrified, apparently from flashbacks to Alfred Hichcock's 1961 thriller, The Birds! I could do nothing but sink into my seat from the embarrassment I was being subjected to. As the flock intensified, I reminded my friend that at some point, he was going to have to get out of the truck and go back into work, which would mean fighting his way through the birds. He just laughed, but he quickly found out how serious the situation was when he lit his cigarette and then held his hand out the window. A seagull flew up from the crown and attempted to grab the lit cigarette from his hand! I don't know who screamed louder..my friend or the bird!

It was at that point that I hurriedly started my truck and started to make my way through the jungle of birds..luckily they got out of my way. I then dropped my friend back off at work with the threat of death if he ever did anything like that again!

Once I got home, I found that the birds had left me several messages of disdain over the lack of food supplied to them during my friend's lunch hour...great globs of bird poo everywhere.

While I was cleaning my bathroom today, I got some rather disturbing news. According to the scrubbing bubbles who were hard at work on my tub, the Tidy Bowl man has died. Apparently, he'd been carrying on a 10 year affair with Aunt Jemima and their last secret rendezvous resulted in him having a heart attack and dying in her arms.

Of course, being one not to believe in idle gossip, I immediately headed to the kitchen to find out for myself if this accusation was true. Aunt Jemima wasn't willing to say much..probably because her husband of 38 years, Uncle Ben, was nearby. Undaunted, I spoke to the Quaker Oats man, who informed me that he had heard the same rumor. That still wasn't good enough..I had to have concrete proof. I was just about to close the pantry door when I heard a very soft, but distinct, "Hey you!"....it was Chef Boyardee! He told me that one night a few weeks ago, he'd overheard Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima having a rather heated argument...only it wasn't about HER taking a lover...apparently the little tramp from Chicken of the Sea had been making romantic overtures for quite some time towards Uncle Ben, and it had been reported by the Ramen noodles that the couple were spotted by the laundry detergent having a rather intimate meal. One can not always trust the word of laundry detergent however.

As I made my way to the refrigerator, I heard gunshots. I quickly opened the door to discover that the Duke's mayonnaise had gone bad and was holding all 12 eggs hostage. I was in shock when I looked on the next shelf down and found that the beets had been killed...gangland style! It was a sight that would turn even the strongest stomach! I quickly shut the door just as the Miracle Whip challenged the French dresing to a duel.

The freezer residents were no help at all. They just sat there and shivered as I questioned them. Captain Gorton seemed to be the only one who was willing to share any pertinent information, but knowing about his tryst with Molly McButter last year, I didn't really want to hear his take on things! It was as he was babbling on (as he normally does!) that the pie crusts very rudely told the Captain to shut his pie hole!

By this point, I was so frustrated that I just gave up my quest for the truth. Against Mr Clean's pleas, I purchased another toilet/tank cleaner. I'm hoping that this one will last longer...but with household products, you can never tell!