Yes, it’s official…as of this coming Monday, I am back in the ranks of the mere mortals schlepping to work every day. It took four months, lots of interviews, and lots of disappointment, and in some cases, downright annoyance, but I finally found something I can live with on a daily basis! The best part is this though…for the first time in FIFTEEN YEARS I’ll be able to wear blue jeans to work…AND, I don’t have to drive an hour each way to get there!

Now, of course, my luck being what it is, I was kept on the tight rope right up until the end….although I knew earlier this week that I had the job, it still was contingent on passing the drug test and background check…both of which I knew I wouldn’t have any problem with. This morning, though, I get a call from the personnel department of my new employer, and she tells me that she wants me to come in this afternoon to discuss my pay, start date, and orientation information. She then tells me that she also wants to ask me about something that came in on my background check. Of course, I was immediately in panic mode at that point…although I knew that I hadn’t left any cold, lifeless bodies hidden away in a trunk somewhere, and I haven’t done any international spying for the KGB, I was naturally wondering what it could have been that showed up in my background that was questionable. Since this was at 9 a.m., you’d know that this lady didn’t have any free time until the afternoon, so I had to spend the rest of the morning wondering what in the hell was going on. Of course, I was going over every little detail of my life for the last 20 years, trying to figure out what I’d done…and I was telling myself that if it were something really bad, she’d have said so…yes, I was driving myself crazy rather rapidly!

Finally, it came time for me to head out…my stomach was in knots, naturally, and that feeling just got worse as I walked back to the personnel office. I knocked on the lady’s door, and she told me to have a seat…and then she said, “there’s something in your background that I wanted to ask you about….” I swallowed hard and prepared myself for the worst….

“You listed your graduation from high school as June of 1989, but your transcripts have you listed as graduating in May of 1989”. 

Yes, Virginia, Santa Claus fainted right on the spot. Anyway, that aside, we went on with all of the mundane things that you have to do to get into the computer system, and viola…I’m in. I think that everyone in Fuquay Varina heard my sigh of relief. Although I do have to admit that I’d come up with some pretty good explanations for anything that she might have presented me with regarding my background…..but that’s another story for another time!

 

As if my week hasn't been strange enough...I'm heading out this evening to get my fix...of a six inch tuna sub from Subway. As I'm going down the road, I look out my windshield and see that I've picked up a hitchhiker...of the reptilian sort. I wish that I could say that I was shocked, but my life being what it is lately, I wasn't at all surprised to see on my windshield a lizard. Or gecko. Or whatever it was. All I know is that he was hanging on for dear life!!
Amazingly enough, my little friend survived the trip to the restaurant. Although I could swear that I heard a faint "scream" coming from somewhere....but I couldn't be sure if it was coming from the lizard or not. Sadly, when I came out of the restaurant, my little friend was gone..apparently he must have hitched a ride back home. Or died of a heart attack. Anyway, I took a couple of pictures with my phone..proof positive that I HAVEN'T lost my mind!





READ ON...THE EVENING GOT BETTER:

Now, after getting back home from the restaurant, I took a few bites of my much longed for tuna sub, when I heard a distinct CRUNCH. Now, where I come from, tuna doesn't "CRUNCH", so naturally I was a little more than alarmed. I'll forgo the details of what I did with the portion of sandwich in my mouth at the time and fast forward a few minutes...as it turns out, I had broken a part of my bridgework! After a few more minutes of sheer panic, I remembered that all was not lost: my sister is a dental hygienist!!! So I call her up and tell her what happened...since the dentist she works for is the one who did the bridgework, she assured me that I could get it fixed post haste....yes, sometimes it is nice to have a sister who works with a dentist!!

So..that was MY day..

I've decided that either I'm losing my mind, or my dreams are trying to tell me something. I don't know which is scarier though...you see, the last couple of weeks, I've had the most BIZARRE dreams! For example, last night I dreamed that for some reason, I was in a high rise apartment building in England, and apparently I was hiding from someone, because I actually sneaked into this one apartment (I guess they call it a flat over there) and made my way into the living room. When I heard someone coming, I jumped onto the couch and covered up with a blanket...apparently in dream world that's a good hiding place...and as the person who lived there walked into the room, I looked out from under the blanket...it was a woman with the hairiest legs I've ever seen and she was wearing a corset so tight that she looked like a Barbie doll from the waist up..to her shoulders anyway. The rest of her was quite unattractive..aged skin with bleached blonde hair...up in curlers no less. She said something to me, but unfortunately, I was in the process of waking up and I didn't catch what she said. I'm hoping it wasn't something along the lines of "Would you be a love and tighten me corset?"

Another dream, while not quite as bizarre as far as I know, was definitely still on the strange side. I don't remember any of the details except for the last couple of minutes of it. I had apparently run into some sort of foe in a department store and decided that perhaps it would be a good idea to pelt it with raisinettes...which were apparently shot from my fingertips.

What could it all mean??

Not that anyone will notice all THAT much here in North Carolina, but spring has officially arrived. Yes, now we know without a doubt that there will be no more frosts, no more snow, no more ice. Of course, we didn't have to worry about that much during the winter either, but at least it's written in stone that it's not going to happen now.

Of course, with spring comes the little annoyances, and we all know what I'm talking about: ALLERGIES!!! Anyone over the age of 30 automatically has them this time of year. There's no escaping it. The only thing you can do to battle it is to stay inside with the air conditioning running full blast, or pump yourself full of allergy medication before heading outside. Just make sure to carry a good supply though because the pollen is out there...and it's just waiting for anyone to make a mistake and not be armed with medication!!

Now, in MY world, allergies aren't enough. Nope. Fate just isn't happy unless I have TWO thorns in my side at this time of year. Along with the pollen stalking me, I also have to endure the onslaught of ladybugs!!! They come by the thousands...they find the tiniest holes in which to infiltrate my home...mainly the family room area...and then they die, leaving hideous, crunch corpses for my kitty (Miss Bigglesworth) to find and munch on. Of course this mostly happens when company is over....Miss B will find a crunchy little treat underneath the window, and start mowing down. If you've never heard a cat crunch a dead ladybug, you don't know what you're missing!

At least I can, from the comfort of my air conditioned home, enjoy the sight of the daffodils and the azaela bushes blooming! Yes, I know I misspelled that word damnit. Where's a freakin dictionary when you need one??

In other news.....

Yes, I am back on Blogstream..for good. I've done some exploring around the web at different blogging sites, and while I've found some that are pretty good, I decided that I'd just better stick with what I know. Of course I'll still keep the other blog up, too.

I'm also happy to report that I'm among the working stiffs once more...of course it's not 100% official at this point, but that's just a technicality. I will get my start date later this coming week.

It's funny the things that you see on the internet..especially in that annoying top banner right here on Blogstream. Today's intrusive ad was brought to us by a website that will teach us all how to be master donut makers.

I wonder..these people that sit around making up these 'spam' ads and e mails..do they REALLY make any money at that? Do people out there REALLY open an email with the subject "Want to be a hero in bed?", or "How to make your manmeat grow 9 inches in 9 seconds"???!!! Moreover, if they actually DO open the email, do they really BUY the product that's being pushed?? Are there really people out there that are THAT stupid??

Oh wait. I forgot where I live for a second there. I live in a country that elected George Bush to a second term as President, or as I have lovingly nicknamed him, "The Imperial Bastard." I live in a country that forces our troops to risk their lives for The Imperial Bastard's oil fortune (and that of the VICE Imperial Bastard) and then return home to horrible conditions at the VA hospitals. So, yeah, I guess there ARE people out there that are THAT STUPID.