Well, laziness has its good and bad points. On the good side, you don't have to do much but just lay there and let the world happen. On the bad side, sometimes you're subjected to something that both bores you and makes you think.
This afternoon when I came home from work, with Chinese carryout in hand, I sat down to begin my feast. I had the hook up...my plate of General Tso's chicken, big glass of tea, and the tv on. I didn't realize until it was too late that tragedy was about to strike.
After finishing dinner, I sat back and started watching tv. The "Maury Povich" show was on. Today's topic: "Geek to Gorgeous" or something like that. I was going to change the channel and watch something with a little more depth, such as the news, but when I reached for the remote, it wasn't there!
I looked around frantically and finally found it...on the chair across the room!!!! Naturally, instead of getting up, moving the tv tray, walking over, picking up the remote, returning to the couch, and then turning the channel, I decided it was just easier to endure Maury for an hour. Yes, I know. I am a brave soul.
It was actually a good thing that I did, because it gave me a topic which will actually be somewhat interesting, and surprisingly deep for me to approach. Of course, the first two guests of the show were the typical girl who in the 8th grade was buck toothed with stringy hair and no boobs. Yada yada..they grew up, bought some boobs, bleached their hair platinum blond, and became hookers. They strut out on stage to impress Corey, the jerk who dumped them at the dance, jiggle their silicone boobs in his face, and tell him all that he's missed out on. Meanwhile, Corey is now bald, has two chins, three children and two ex wives who took him to the cleaners.
Next is the obligatory "geeky guy who wore coke bottle glasses and then turned into a drag queen prostitute"....enough said about that one.
Then come the real stories. The girl who had braces, head gear, and acne. The girls at school knocked the books out of her hand every day, beat her up, and set her up on fake dates with the hot guys at school, only to laugh when he never showed. The guy who couldn't get a pretty girl at the club to speak to him because of the way he was dressed and the fact that he wasn't buff. It's those stories that really piss me off.
When I was young, I knew people just like these folks. We all did. The skinny girl with stringy hair, the geeky guy with the pocket protector...the ones who try so hard to fit in but just never quite do. Fortunately, a lot of kids grow out of the "geeky" stage by the time they're in high school. Sometimes they don't though. They go all the way through school being the nerd who never gets a date to prom, never has a "clique" to be a part of...no real friends to speak of. It's really quite sad...and for me, infuriating.
Growing up, I was fortunate in many ways. I experienced everything...as a little boy, I was noticed for varying reasons: first of all, I was extremely smart, but that sometimes was canceled out because I was also incredibly bratty at times. I once started a forest fire and blamed it on my best friend, who as a result ended up in reform school for awhile.
I whacked another friend in the head with a golf club because he pissed me off...luckily he doesn't remember that. Of course he doesn't remember a LOT of things after that! (I'm just kidding)...but the point is, I was kind of horrible.
Around the 5th grade, puberty set in. If there's a such thing as payback for being a bratty kid, puberty is it. I'll let my 5th grade picture speak for itself:
Now, I mentioned earlier that I was always pretty smart as a kid. Having said that, the period from 5th to 7th grade looking the way that I did taught me some things that would stay with me for the rest of my life. Even though I was a pretty decent kid by this time, it didn't matter to a lot of kids in school because of the way that I looked. I had ratty hair, still not gotten all of my adult teeth, and worst of all I had a wardrobe that would have been better suited for a rag doll. See, dad had this allergy to work, so there was rarely money for school clothes. What I started the year with usually had to last the WHOLE year. Not fun for an 11 year old kid who grows 3 inches in a month. I remember having two pairs of those pants called "cords"...the ones that swish when you walk...my whole 6th grade year. I was laughed at and teased DAILY because of that.
Luckily, as my teenage years came about, my teeth had grown in (quite straight thank God!), I got a decent haircut, and even though dad still had his allergy, my beloved grandmother helped me out in the wardrobe department. By this time, I'd learned not to judge someone based on looks, family income, or how much they weighed. I had come into my own, but I didn't take it for granted. I dated girls for who they were to ME...I didn't give a shit about anything else. Here's one of my senior prom pictures:
As you can tell, I had no problems landing a beautiful girl! Amazingly enough though, the girl in this picture with me never thought of herself as being pretty! One of her reasons for thinking that? Because as a kid in elementary school, she wore glasses and wasn't "as pretty as the other girls"....and she faced her fair share of teasing from the other kids. No one cared that she was a nice girl who cherishes her friends...sad, huh? By the way, you'll all be happy to know we are still, and have been friends since high school. She's married to a nice guy and has 3 adorable kids!
As I got into my post high school years, I once again faced the cruelty of some types of people. The good looking kid in the prom picture gained over the years over 100lbs, and by the time he was in his early 30s was facing a very shortened life span because of it. Again, I learned some valuable lessons about people, and about life during that time. I learned that even well into adulthood, there are those out there who judge based solely on looks. I was still the same guy who cares about everyone (ESPECIALLY the "underdog"), but I constantly ran into those who didn't like me because I was fat. I'm not going to post a picture of me during that time for two reasons..the first being no one would believe it's me, and the second because I still have a hard time seeing those pictures. Maybe some day though. At any rate, during my 20s and 30s, I was pretty miserable.
Finally, at the age of 34, faced with the possibility of having a heart attack because of my weight, I made the decision to have gastric bypass surgery. in the course of less than 11 months, I lost 125lbs, regained my health, and got a completely different outlook on life. I did a complete makeover...new clothes, new hair (shut up Nightbug!), and a whole lot more intelligence. After the makeover, I admittedly got a lot more attention...I was that kid in the prom picture grown up...looking how I SHOULD have looked a decade later. Did I get more attention because of my looks? You bet. What killed me though was that the attention I got frequently was from folks who'd shunned me when I was fat. All of a sudden, because my appearance changed, I was "acceptable". Never mind that I was still the same on the INSIDE. Did I go on a show like Maury to "exact my revenge"? No, and the thought would never enter my mind. Why?
Because..had it not been for the things that happened to me as a kid, as a teenager, and as an adult, I'd never have grown into a person that I can look at in the mirror. Those that teased, those that flattered based solely on my looks, and those that shunned me when I was fat...they all helped me grow. I've still got my faults...MANY MANY faults...I'm no where close to being perfect, and I'm glad about that. It has sometimes been an extremely hard road to get where I am, but at least I can finally say that I'm proud of who I am. My only hope is that those folks that come onto shows like "Maury" can say the same one day....
I'm officially dismounting my high horse now before this ends up becoming a book!
After picking through various receipts, discarded cups of coffee, and a banana peel, I finally gave up and awaited my fate. 
