Ok, first let me start by saying that for the most part I really do like old people. They can be quite comical and at most times they can also be very wise. I always use my own grandmother as my example for how old people should be. "Nannie" as I called her, was quick witted, highly intelligent, and had something to say about everything. She was also extremely funny, although sometimes it wasn't intentional. The best thing about Nannie though was that she was always a true lady and she never made a spectacle of herself in public. Of course the fact that she adored me also made life much easier for me to think that all old people should be just like her.

The last few weeks I've had a big dose of reality, though. I've found that there are a LOT of old folks out there who are just plain mean! A few that I had the unfortunate luck of dealing with today are prime examples. The first was this old wrinkled up bitch that DEMANDED that I stop what I was doing (WAITING ON ANOTHER CUSTOMER) and wait on her. When I politely told her that I'd be with her as soon as I got finished with the other lady I was waiting on, her response was, "Look, I've got more money than God and I'm not used to having to wait for anyone." Yes, she REALLY said that. Luckily, the woman that I was waiting on turned to her and said, "Even though I'm sure you were in high school with God, you're still going to wait until he's done with me!" You could have heard a pin drop at that point. The old lady then proceeded to turn around and walk off. I proposed marriage to the customer that I was waiting on, but she was already married.

The second geriatric from hell that I had was a man who couldn't understand the concept of if you don't pay your credit card bill, you won't be allowed to use it anymore. Apparently, back in the year 1812 when he got his first credit card, things like having your credit revoked just didn't happen, and of course since I'm under the age of 300 it was all MY fault that things are as crappy in the world as they are now.

While I was talking to one of my co workers about the old people from hell, she put it all into perspective for me...she said, "you know, in our generation, there are guys that are just jerks and women that are just bitches, right?" Of course, I agreed with her, and she explained, "well just remember that there have always been jerks and bitches in the world...and those old folks that you keep running into are the jerks and bitches from other generations."


Hmm...a valid point.

But that didn't make my experiences any less irritating. I wonder if I'm going to be one of those old crotchety men when I'm old?

Ok, I'm sure that everyone is on pins and needles to find out who the Phantom Pooper turned out to be, and the quick answer is: I still don't know!

The person in charge of the "investigation" hasn't said whether or not he saw anything on the security tapes. So for now, the Phantom has gotten away with his dastardly deed! We did find out that it was a male...after leaving his surprise in the hardware department, he made his way to the men's room, tore a piece of his shirt off, and then wiped his ass with it. He then discarded the piece of shirt behind one of the toilets.

I know that I laughed hysterically when it happened, but seriously folks...there's just no good excuse for what this person did. ANYONE can have an accident...Lord knows I've had my share (yes, even as an adult!), but if I ever had an accident so bad that I had to leave a pile on the floor of a public place, I'd at the very least try and let someone know what had happened. I definitely wouldn't go into a bathroom stocked with toilet paper and use my SHIRT to clean myself up.

Stay tuned..I'm sure the story will get more interesting!

In other news.....

I'm not going to say too much about it, because I'm not sure if it's going to work out or not, but there's a chance that I'm going to be offered a job that pays MUCH MUCH more than what I'm making now...of course that kinda sucks considering the fact that I actually DO like what I'm doing now....

As I've said before...when you have a job, offers come in every day...when you DON'T you can't get one at gunpoint!!!

That's it for tonight....

To say that my day has been interesting would be an UNDERSTATEMENT>>>

The day started out normally enough...I followed my action plan as posted last night...but once I got to work and got the blood flowing back to my brain, I was ok...

And then he struck.

The Phantom Pooper.

There I was, minding my own business at the Customer Service desk when one of my co-workers explodes around the corner, laughing so hard she is crying! All she could say was, "ooohh my GODDDDD...you...hahahahhahaha....won't.....hahahahha....believe....."

I had to tell her, "Take a breath!" She did, and then proceeded to tell me that someone had discovered a pile of shit ("poo" for those of you who don't cuss like a sailor) in the middle of the hardware section!



What?



Yes, it seems that someone stopped in the middle of the aisle, dropped their pants, and left a pile of poo right between the floor sanders and the power saws!



Once I caught my breath, I asked my co worker who had the task of cleaning it up....apparently my company sees a pile of shit as a hazardous situation and the hazmat folks were called in to ASSist!



They showed up (yes, there were TWO of them dispatched!) at the service desk and inquired the whereabouts of the poo. Folks, I TRIED...I REALLY, TRULY, T R I E D my best to keep a straight face as I pointed them out to the aisle where the 'offending matter' had been discovered. I was doing fairly well until one of the stone faced men looked at me and said, "It's a shitty job, but SOMEBODY'S got to do it" I exploded in laughter at this point, and it only got worse when he asked me if steps had been taken to "contain" the matter. My co worker had to take over at this point telling him that someone had put a bucket over the top of it, so as not to offend anyone walking by with the smell.



Wait though..the story gets funnier. After the hazmat guys 'contained the matter for shipment', they show up at the service desk with a box....a box that contained the shit!!! Apparently, the shit has to be mailed to a lab somewhere!!!

Right now I'm SOOOOO glad I don't work for the post office!!!

It's after midnight and I really should be in bed right now, but it's one of those nights when I just can't get motivated to get tired enough to actually hit the pillows. Of course that means that waking up in the morning for work will go as follows:

7:30am: The alarm clock will start blaring from across the room, interrupting what surely will be a good dream just getting to the REALLY good part!

7:39am: I'll have hit the snooze button, tricking myself into thinking that an extra 9 minutes of sleep will actually do some good, but before my brain will wrap around the fact that the extra time just might do some good, that confounded thing will be blaring in my ear again!!

7:45am: I'll finally roll out of bed, stand there for a minute to remember where I am, and then try and motivate myself to actually find some clothes and make my way to the shower. I'll finally make it into the bathroom and turn on the water, forgetting that I should give the water enough time to warm up, and step into a cold stream of water. I'll instantly curse the very existence of water.

8am: Finished with my shower, I'll bitch about the fact that my hair looks like shit, and I'll attempt to blow dry it into some semblance of normalcy, without much luck. I'll give up and say, "who the hell am I trying to impress anyway?"

8:15am - 8:45am: I'll get onto the computer and see if I have any email, then I'll curse when 90% of what in my inbox is advertisements asking me if I want to add 6 inches to my "love tool" so that my girlfriend will not leave me for another man who has used this miracle product. I'll finally get down to the alerts from Blogstream that usually contain notices that Bella has left a comment in my blog or that she's CC'd me on a comment I made in hers. I'll laugh either way because she and I share a single brain at times! haha She knows what I mean!

8:45am-9am: I'll dread actually motivating myself into finishing getting dressed and making sure that the dog and cat have food and water for the day. I'll make one more sweep of my e mail, cuss the assholes who spend their day sending out spam, and then finally close up my browser.

9:15am: I'll hop into my truck and make the trek to work, thinking along the way of some excuse to get me off work early. Of course, none of the excuses are plausible, so I'll accept my fate and just go in.

*sigh...oh well...at least I'm not waking up not having a CLUE as to what I'll do for the day, as I did for four months while I was out of a job! Thankfully the days of parking myself in front of the computer desperately sending out resume after resume are for the most part over.

Ok, I'll shut up now and go to bed!

It's been a VERY long week for me. Yuck. I had to babysit my nephew Eli this evening, which was fine..I do love spending time with him, but I'll REALLY be glad when he's old enough to actually communicate with me instead of crying. He has learned two words..."dada" and "that"...unfortunately for me, neither one conveys what it is that he is needing when he's bawling his eyes out, so Uncle Bry gets to play detective. Such was the case tonight. Apple juice didn't help. Food didn't help. Playing a frantic game of "peek a boo" didn't help. Finally I resorted to an age old sure fire way to appease him: I stuck a pacifier in his mouth. SUCCESS! He was content for the rest of the evening.

Oh shut up. Anyone else would have done the same with a 14 month old screaming in their ear for 30 minutes!

That's it for tonight! Hopefully tomorrow I'll be more witty..or creative..or at least more awake! hehe