The first part of today's post was inspired by an email that I got from a friend today. The friend made the suggestion that I should get paid for my writing.... ....a very nice compliment indeed...and Lord knows, I wish that I could, but as I told the friend, unfortunately for me most publishers want that all so important piece of paper on the wall that says I studied journalism for four years. Of course, my personal opinion is that 4 years of Honors English classes in high school, a little common sense, and spell checker ought to be enough...but hey, who am I, right? Anyway, it got me to thinking about some of the jobs that I've had over the years...yes, there have been MANY...I'm what you might call a Jack of All Trades...even though my name isn't Jack...and I haven't exactly developed what you'd call expert skills in an actual trade...but you get the idea. Anyway, in chronological order, here's some of the experiences I've had job-wise: (Those I can remember anyway!)....

Burger King ....I flipped burgers as my very first job! I got food poisoning from that shithole!

Cashier/Dept Boy....The store was called Rose's..I think they were primarily in the south...there's only a handful of them left now...I left that job shortly after my HR person told me "not to worry" about the old man who'd offered to have sex with me in the men's dressing room....

Closing meat slicer....It was for an Arby's wannabe called Rax...they really thought an 18 year old high school senior was going to work from 5p-1a EVERY Friday and Saturday night...Aunt Sophie died three times before I finally just quit.....

BagBoy.....Winn-Dixie was a huge chain that thought kids in high school should work until 5a...that job lasted exactly two nights

Waiter @ Pizza Hut...I learned a lot working there...mainly that people don't leave a tip if you don't come back to the table to check on them after they get their food..I also learned that being a waiter when you're a good looking blonde guy makes one prone to sexual advances from other waiters who assume that you are gay..even when HIS girlfriend is YOUR girlfriend's best friend. Yeah, that really happened!

Clerk @ convenience store....I worked 3rd shift at an all night convenience store. Need I say more?

Production Operator....otherwise known as factory bitch....I sat in one area all night for 8 hours assembling various types of water faucets for Moen. They wanted to fire me for leaving early the night before my mother died. Nice folks, huh?

Bagel shop manager....I'd just moved to Pennsylvania and got this job..the owner asked me if all people in the south were like Bo and Luke Duke from "The Dukes of Hazzard" tv show...I moved back to North Carolina shortly thereafter.

Soil Sample tech....this job was one of the worst ever...I worked with a guy who clearly was just released from prison...the job was to take soil samples for the EPA on proposed construction sites...he told me that when we had out of town jobs, I should consider myself his 'boy' and do as he said or I'd pay the price....

Call Center Rep for an airline....If you ever make a reservation to fly anywhere in the world and you've insulted the person you spoke to on the phone who made the reservation for you, don't be surprised if you end up sitting in the worst seat on the plane with the worst tasting food you've ever eaten! Yes, they have that much power!

Dispatcher for repair technicians....Just ask fellow Blogstreamer 'Nightbug' about what it's like to work in that insane asylum! She and I were co-workers there for 5 years....

Restaurant manager....All I can say is, don't piss off anyone who works in a restaurant, because the horror stories are ALL true!

Customer Service BoyBitch....my current job...all I can say is...stay tuned!

>>>>>Damn.....anyone who's still reading, I applaud you! On to the other topic.....Recently, I was asked to make a sign that was to read, "Gas Powered Lawn Equipment Warrantied for 30 Days ONLY"..simple enough, right? WELL.....

Some BUTTHEAD came in today and had the unmitigated GALL to tell the cashier stationed by the sign that I had misspelled the word "warrantied"...and went so far as to get a magic marker from the cashier and "correct" my error!! I didn't find out about this until after the fact, but needless to say, I corrected HIS "correction" after verifying that I had indeed spelled the word correctly! Had I the capability to print the page from the dictionary, I would have displayed it beside the sign so that Mr. Smartass could see it the next time he comes in!

Ok..that's it for today..I promise!!

I am SOOOOO freakin stressed about this damn computer right now, I could spit KILOBYTES!!! The CD/RW drive went out, so I put another one in...of course I don't have the disk for the new one, because it's actually one I'd bought a few years ago for my old Dell PC. I only used it a few times before I got the new computer, so I know that it's good...but now the stupid computer "CAN'T FIND" the drive so that the driver will work properly.

Not only that, but it appears that all I had to do with the OLD one was update the driver, because a test showed that the other was working fine....damnit. Now I have to unplug the puter, take it apart, and then add the old one back on. What a pain in the ass. Needless to say, that'll be done tomorrow because it's almost bed time for me and I besides I'm too pissed right now to deal with it.

I'm such a geek, I know!

Well, that's it for tonight. Tomorrow's Monday. Yuck.

Yeah yeah, technically it's Sunday already, but I had to work late, so we'll consider this to be my Saturday night post!

First of all, thanks to everyone who participated in my little "time machine" question! Interestingly enough, the comments were about EX spouses...which brings me to tonight's topic.

Maybe I'm unique. I just don't get how there are men out there who make a choice to make a woman's life miserable to the point that a divorce is the best option. Let me explain:

For the most part, I'm a pretty decent guy. I'm caring, for the most part I'm very considerate, and I'm definitely no slouch when it comes to attracting the opposite sex (and Lord help me, even the SAME sex, but that's a whole other can of worms for a later post!)...in the friendship department, I'm awesome..almost to a fault. An actual RELATIONSHIP, though, I've got some issues. A lot of those issues come from the fact that I never EVER had a decent role model from a father figure. I wouldn't know how to be a good boyfriend or husband if I had a 1500 page manual straight from God himself! I've known this about myself since I was a teenager.

Having said that, I do have at least the common sense to know these things about myself. I accept those things about myself. Therefore, I made a conscious decision many years ago that I will not marry or enter into any kind of "serious long term 'common law' marriage scenario" because knowing these things about myself, the end result would be that I would end up being one of these typical "jerks" that good, caring, decent women seem to end up with.

Granted, I'm NOT my father. I've never struck a woman and I've NEVER told a woman that she's unattractive, fat, or stupid. I can safely say that I never will, either. I've seen too many times the effects that can have. Again, though, it's a two way street...I'd never tolerate a woman telling ME that I'm unattractive, fat, or stupid.

And as far as children are concerned...that could be an entire post in itself! I like children for the most part, but I just don't have a whole lot of patience with them. Naturally, they ADORE me, which causes some sticky situations! They must have 'radar' for folks like me and they set out on a quest to 'convert' me or something! When they encounter me, I treat them as little miniature adults, and they think that I'm just 'the coolest'....darnit!

I guess when it all boils down to it, I'd rather just risk being alone with no kids than to subject an innocent woman and children to a repeat of the life that I had as a kid.

Now, don't anyone feel sorry for me, because I know it sounds like I've doomed myself to a life of loneliness (and no one to carry on my family name, etc.) but it's really not all that bad. My life is actually pretty full, and I really do feel that my choices about marriage and family are the best ones for me.

That's about it for tonight...I hope that what I've said makes at least some sort of sense, because I'm REALLY beat and I do have a tendency to babble when I'm tired!

Yuck! I have to work tonight!

Won't someone PLEASE create a time machine that I can hop into, go back to 1989 (my senior year of high school), and tell myself that I really NEEDED to go for my degree in architecture?? Just think...I'd be rich now...and definitely not working on a Saturday night! Of course, I'd also tell myself to put down that damn slice of pizza because I was going to end up ballooning up to 275 lbs before all was said and done! That would have saved me the aggravation of having to have had surgery to lose it! Oh yeah, I'd also smack myself and say "lay off the hairspray..." Shut up Nightbug!

Now that I think about it, that's an interesting topic for today/tonight...soooooo....for you out there that stop by today, answer this question, and leave your answers in the comments section:

"If you could hop into this time machine, what time would you go to and what would you do while there?"

I'll be on later tonight to see what y'all come up with!

Old people suck. At least the old people in Fuquay-Varina, North Carolina.......

Yes, it happened again. First thing this morning, Bitsy Bitchums called into the store demanding to know WHY our lawn and garden area was not answering their telephone. I explained to her that the area does not open until 8 a.m. and that the current time was 7:45 a.m. and that if she'd like to call back when the area is open I'd be more than happy to forward her call to them. This old hag proceeds to start telling me how back in the days when she was a young lady that it didn't matter what time a store opened, there was ALWAYS someone available before hours to help a customer out. She also told me how in the old days, people were not simply transferred to another phone, but rather whomever answered the phone would call for the person needed. "No good has come from all these automatic contraptions". I decided it was time to show granny just how right she was. In my most polite, yet monotone and extremely annoying voice, my reply to her speech was, "One moment please while I transfer you." As I pressed the transfer button, the last thing I heard was "No, don.........." Ms. Bitchums was then sent to the flooring department. With our phone system, if an extension is not answered, the call is sent back to my desk...of course all I have to do is press another extension without even picking up the phone. So the call comes back enough times that Ms. Bitchums paid a visit to every department in my store. Every time my phone rang, I'd simply press another extension and off she went!

I believe that after Ms. Bitchum spent the better part of 10 minutes being transfered into oblivion, she must have decided to send her grandfather to the store in person, because shortly thereafter, here comes a man that surely was the doctor who delivered President Washington. His complaint? We didn't have in stock some sort of drill that he wanted. He'd come to the store several times during the last few weeks and he could never find the drill....he felt that the employees of the store were hiding these drills so that he could not have one. He insisted that I look in my computer and find one for him. I checked the inventory and found that this drill is something that not only do we not have, but they've been discontinued and we WON'T ever have any. I explained this to Mr. Bitchum, and his reply was, "You are just telling me that to get rid of me because you just don't know your job."

I stood as he rambled on about how annoying it was to continually come to the store to check on the item and it not be there, etc etc etc. And then he stepped over the line. He told me that it was because of "low income people" like myself that stores like mine are losing money every day. There is no emoticon showing a little red face with a volcano exploding out of its head, so you'll just have to picture it. It was then that I held up my hand and told him, "look..first of all, my income is not only NOT any of YOUR business, but whatever it is, I'm QUITE sure that it's higher than your social security check. Secondly, you may say what you like about society, this company, the people who run it, or anything else that happens to come out of your false toothed mouth, but you will NOT stand here teetering on the edge of your cane and personally attack me. I am simply relaying to you the information that is available to me about the product, and having completed that task, if you have no further questions about the company or its products or services, I will thank you to leave this area immediately."


I don't know what shocked him more...WHAT I had said, or HOW I had said it. I remained perfectly calm and didn't raise my voice at all. Hell, I surprised MYSELF. Normally, when I reach my boiling point, my mouth becomes like a machine gun and I've brought to the surface my command of profanity that would make a sailor blush.

Mr. Bitchum stood there for a moment staring at me. Then he did something amazing. He actually apologized. I thought I was going to have a stroke! He also thanked me for putting him in his place and left with the promise that from now on, he'd try to remember not to shoot the messenger!

In other news.....

I found the most AMAZING thing today! Did you know that if you set up a Google account (free of course) you not only get email, but you ALSO get a word processor?? Not just a word processor, but one that will convert your documents into any format that you want??!! Hurray! Now I don't have to keep uninstalling and reinstalling Word Perfect 90 day trials!!

I'm a geek. Sue me.

That's it for now...