Well, today wasn't too bad, even though I had to work at the customer service desk. Come NEXT weekend though I may be singing a different tune because by that time it will have been over two weeks since I'll have had a day off!!

The customers were in short supply today...the store has actually been quite dead lately...thank GOD for small miracles!! Of course though the customers that I HAVE had are enough to make up for it!!

I'll call him Ms. Smith. That's not a typo...he could really have been named QUEEN for a day. He's the type of guy who screams gay with every movement and word out of his mouth, yet swears he has a girlfriend who "lives in another state"....anyway, Ms. Smith comes up to the desk to pick up a special order vanity for his new bathroom. Waiting five minutes to have this thing brought up front from the receiving area apparently didn't set too well with him, which was demonstrated with his exasperated sighs and constant tapping of his fingernails (which were 4 inches long and perfectly manicured by the way) on the counter. I have a look that I can give to people that tells them, "you're really pissing me off" and trust me when I tell you, as I'm standing at the counter I gave Ms. Smith this look quite a few times! Apparently he noticed because he started doing the tapping even harder...I guess it was somewhat of a power struggle....I just love those in my position there because I always win. Ms. Smith wasn't going to be my first defeat, either.

"Sir, would you mind not tapping your fingernails on the counter?"

"Is it bothering you? Because I'm bothered having to wait for something that I ordered two weeks ago!"

"First of all, yes, it is bothering me. Secondly, if you would have called in advance as it states on your agreement, your item would have been waiting for you when you walked in the door and there would be no need to tap your fingernails on the counter as though this is in someway our fault that you have to wait for it to be brought up."

Ms. Smith knew he'd been defeated. He stopped tapping his nails on the counter and slowly walked to the other end of the counter and waited quietly for his vanity to arrive. I, of course, reveled in yet another victory over an unruly jerk.

I also got my 90 day review today...even though it hasn't been quite 90 days since I went to work there...it was a good review. That's a good thing because had it been LESS than what I wanted it to be, today would have been my last day there. I think that my immediate supervisor knew that, but at the same time she can't deny that I do a good job. Even though I relate the stories of the customers from hell, I am still very nice to the ones whose goal in life is to give me a bunch of shit. I also know my job, and learned it in a very short amount of time...another reason she's not very happy that I dropped down to part time status. So she gave me a good review and all is well with the world.

So that's about it for tonight. My goal for this coming week is to catch up with all you out there. I've seriously neglected my blog lurking duties of late and I feel very ashamed!

Have a good week!

Frustration is my middle name tonight! I came home from work at the customer service desk from hell, composed my blog entry..which by the way was a pretty long one due to some pretty interesting stories...I go to post the entry and BAM...the internet is down. The bad thing about DSL is that if there's an outage, everything will APPEAR to be fine until you try to actively do something. I was P I S S E D!!!!

Anyway..when I arrived at work this afternoon, I was greeted by my girls with hugs and "I've missed you SO much"...you'd think it had been a year since they'd seen me instead of just a few days! It was really sweet though...and then things were back to normal:

First up was the redneckette who wanted to exchange the 'terlet seet' she'd bought a few days earlier. I explained to her that we don't allow exchanges on toilet seats for sanitary reasons. After voicing her dislike of that policy, she asks me, "what does sanitary mean?"

Then there was Mr. Kung Do Lung. He wished to return his push mower that wasn't working. Since it's the policy of the store not to accept gas powered equipment that still has gas in it, I asked him:

"Does the mower still have gas in it?"

"Mower no work."

"I'm aware that the mower doesn't work, but does it still have any gas in it?

"I try start it, it run 10 minutes and no work anymore."

"Yes, I'm aware of what you said, but I can not accept it as a return if it still has fuel in it...is there any gas in the mower?"

"Mower no work."



Does anyone remember the Ms. Swann skit from MadTV? I think this was her son.

The conversation continued:

"DOES THE MOWER HAVE GAS IN IT?"

"AHHHHHHH....gas! Yes, yes, mower has gas!"

"I can't take it back if it has gas in it."

"Oh...mower no have gas."

At this point, I had to choose whether to check the mower myself or slap this stupid little man who'd clearly just gotten off the boat. Since I didn't have enough money in my checking account to cover bail, I figured I'd just check the damn thing myself.

"This mower is full of gas."

"Mower no work."

It was at this point that I called for backup. I called for someone to come and take the mower to our tool rental department and drain the gas out of it..a service not normally provided by the store, but one that would be done so as to save my sanity! Once the gas was drained, I gave Mr. Lung his money and shoo'ed him out of the store.

Damnit. If I moved to China, I'd have to learn Chinese. He moved to America. He should learn English. PERIOD.

>>>>>>>>>>I'm tired as fuck. I just don't think this working two jobs thing is going to work out. I'm not as young as I used to be...I need rest now and then, damnit! Of course, given the fact that this year has been HELL on me financially, I may have no other choice for a while. If ONLY I could get paid to just sit here and relate stories of the people I've had to deal with over the years, I'd be SET!!

One good thing about today, though. My poodle, Sammy turned SIX years old today! He's such a cool dog! The story of how I got him is pretty cool too....

The roomie and I had decided that the house was a little too quiet with just Miss Bigglesworth the cat, so we decided to get a dog. Since we both like poodles, we decided to go in halves and get one...so we searched. And searched. And searched. Just when we were about to give up, I heard about a breeder who lived close by, so we headed out to her house. She had six of the cutest pups I'd ever seen...three were apricot, two were black, and one was solid white. I chose a little girl and was almost instantly in love. Then I looked down and saw a little pup who was apricot, but had a little black spot on his back. I asked the breeder about that, and she told me that it was considered a "flaw" and that he wasn't worth any money. I put down the little girl, and grabbed up the pup with the black spot. She asked me, "are you SURE you want him?" I told her, "this little black spot may not make him worth any money, but it makes him UNIQUE..and that makes him special to ME." With that, we paid for him and brought him home. Sammy has been the best dog I've ever had...he's smart as a whip and is extremely loving. He's always excited to see me...when I’m down, he’s always there to cuddle up with me as if to say, “Don’t worry daddy..it’ll be ok!” Yes, he’s spoiled rotten and he’s treated like a child, but he’s well worth it! So HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my little pup!

I found this while surfing around on the internet..I thought it would make a good chuckle before I head off to the customer service desk from hell for the day:

What my mother taught me…

My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done:
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside – I’ve just finished cleaning!”

My mother taught me religion:
“You’d better pray that stain will come out of the carpet.”

My mother taught me about time travel:
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you right into the middle of next week!”

My mother taught me logic:
“Because I said so, that’s why.”

My mother taught me foresight:
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

My mother taught me irony:
“Keep laughing and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

My mother taught me about the science of osmosis:
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper!”

My mother taught me about contortionism:
“Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!”

My mother taught me about stamina:
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is finished.”

My mother taught me about weather:
“It looks as if a tornado swept through your room.”

My mother taught me how to solve physics problems:
“If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming towards you, would you listen to me then?”

My mother taught me about hypocrisy:
“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times: don’t exaggerate!!”

My mother taught me the circle of life:
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

My mother taught me about behaviour modification:
“Stop acting like your father!”

My mother taught me about envy:
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do!”

Thanks, Mom!

The rumors are true...I do still exist. Aliens did not abduct me, use me for their cruel experiments, and then leave me dazed in a heap on the side of Interstate 40, as was reported in several cities across the country. So..here's the make-up post:

First of all, I want to say that this is NOT a bitch post....I'm not complaining at all. I've found in the past that complaining about anything just brings me more bad karma, so I'm simply going to relate some things that have happened to me this week. Of course, I'll also explain that these are things that can happen ONLY to ME and when I really DON'T need them to happen, for various reasons!

As I posted a couple of days ago, my first day on the new job started out kind of rough...I was sent to the wrong building by the agency that recruited me for the new job. No biggie..I got re-directed and still had a few minutes to spare. Well, everything has been going fine at the new job thank GOD! It's the little things like the building mix-up that are getting me though....such as:

1. I got locked out of the building yesterday because I still only had one of those embarrassing VISITOR tags...so I was ALMOST late coming back from lunch because of having to wait for the security guard to let me in!

2. I was lucky enough yesterday to get an EXCELLENT parking spot in the lower level of the parking deck. This was good because as everyone knows, my a/c isn't working on my truck! Unfortunately, I left for lunch and when I came back the parking space was gone. Of course there were NONE left in the lower level, so I had to park in the blazing sun...it was only 98 degrees. This was yesterday, when I got locked out of the building by the way!

3. This morning, I leave the house, get far enough away not to be able to turn around and go back if I forgot something, and then realized that my lighter wasn't working! No worries, though...the lighter in my truck still works...it's one of the FEW things on the damn thing that DOES still work. Of course this is inconvenient for me because my XM radio is plugged into the lighter, I had to walk all the way to the truck for each break to have a smoke, AND it's very difficult to drive, hold a cell phone, and light a cigarette at the same time!

4. Also today, I got a very unpleasant shock when I sat in front of my computer only to realize that my monitor had died during the night! Again, no worries, because I have another computer in the house. Also, my cousin had a spare monitor that he gave me, so I'm at least back on MY computer now!

Now, if all of this wasn't enough, my day was topped off when I received instructions on how to enter my time for this week via the internet. The web address was fine..no problems logging in, changing my personal info, etc. However, the agency has neglected to actually PUT me into the system, so naturally, it doesn't know that I exist (regardless of the fact that I can create a login, etc!).....so I had to send ANOTHER e mail asking for help. Although I was proactive in that I included my work time IN the email so that hopefully I won't have any delays in getting paid next week!!

Again...I'm NOT bitching...I'm NOT complaining. I'm simply relaying the facts as they happened. That's my story and I'm sticking to it! Of course, those of you who live in states far far away may hear a distinct SHRIEKING in the wee hours of the night...don't fret, it's just me....reacting to the FACTS!!

Oh...and this is all in preparation for the fact that I have to work at the Customer Service Desk from Hell this weekend!

Well, the first day on the new job was an adventure to say the least. Nothing BAD, but an adventure. To begin with, I'd been told to go to the "Training Center", which is a building dedicated to, well, training of new employees, etc. So I show up bright and early and when I asked for the man I was told to ask for, the security guard says, "Who's that?" A few minutes later, he figured out who it was and turns out I had been sent to the wrong building!! LUCKILY, I'm habitually early....well, at least at first anyway! So I had enough time to get to the right building (which was just up the street!) and still have a few minutes to spare!

Once I finally got to where I needed to be, I met my new co workers..all of whom are VERY nice. My responsibility today was to sit and watch. Not a bad gig huh? hehehehe Candy, get your mind out of the gutter, I wasn't watching THAT!!

Of course, as good as things went, I did feel a bit like Jethro Bodine today...ugh.....
It's easy to tell the new employees from the ones that have been there for a while....the new employees drive the OLD beemers and the ones who've been there for a while drive the NEW beemers!!! Meanwhile, I come clanking up in the 20 year old Nissan pickup with no a/c, rattling muffler, and everything falling off of it. Luckily, I was able to find a parking space VERY far away from the building...and I walked very quickly away from it, so as not to be detected getting out of it! I swear folks, the OLDEST vehicle in the parking lot was a early 90s model Mercedes! Sheesh! Of course that does give me an indication of the kind of money I'll be making soon!!

THEN I get a call from my roommate..he also works at the job that I just "left"...he told me that since I was still in my 90 days probation period that my supervisor had said I probably wouldn't have a job anymore...I'd requested to go to part time only (for a while anyway)...naturally, I was like, "oh well..fuckit!" Well, as it turns out, the supervisor was just being a bitch, and HR actually WANTS me to stay part time...so...I'll be pulling double duty for the foreseeable future. Of course, that means for a month or so...I'll be sick of it by then. hehehe

So anyway..to sum it up...the new job is going to work out just fine...All of the worry and aggravation to get there was WELL worth it!! Of course, I'm pooped now, so I'm signing off! Hope everyone has a great night!