Now, don't anyone get overly excited because Lord knows I sure haven't....BUT....

I got an e mail this morning from the secretary to the manager of the building I work in. It seems that they want me to interview for a permanent position with the company tomorrow afternoon! I did a little investigating and found out that I am the only person out of quite a few in my work area that's being interviewed for this position! I don't know how many people I'm up against, but I was truly shocked by the invitation! Of course, hopefully it's the fact that I've done a good job PLUS the five years' experience that I have in this field that got it for me. Now, the interview isn't a SURE thing...I still have to impress just as much as I did in the very first one when I went to work for the company. Luckily, I'm interviewing with the same two folks as that first time, so I'm hoping that they like me as much as the first time.

Of course, even if I do get the position, I'm still not completely out of the woods where finances are concerned, but it's definitely a start. Anyone who kept up with my blog here from December to April knows how hard it was to survive on unemployment benefits, and then the few months I worked at the customer service desk from hell for just a few dollars more a week didn't make things any better. It's times like this that I thank God for the fact that I don't have a wife or kids to take care of. It's hard enough trying to take care of myself!

So anyway, keep your fingers crossed for me! I need all the good vibes I can get!!

Oh, by the way...the pain in the neck that I wrote about last night? Well, it seems that I can thank the way that I sit at work for that. I have to figure out how to get my monitors and chair adjusted so that I'm not looking slightly down or up all day...trust me, that's easier said than done!

One person said it was stress.
One said it was a pulled muscle.
And yet another said that it was a pulled muscle AND stress.
Later, Dr. Doom said it is the precursor to a stroke.

Whatever it is, it's a pain in the neck. No, really...literally a pain in the neck. It started late yesterday...nothing more than an inconvenience. Today, it was a bit worse, and then this evening it's been terrible. So long as I don't do anything strenuous, such as look in any direction except straight ahead, I can handle it. Which is of course why I am able to sit here and type. Yes, you folks are worth the extra effort. :)

Extra efforts being well worth it, though, I think I'd better try and mooch some extra EXTRA strength Excedrin off of my neighbors and try to get myself into bed. Hopefully I won't wake up with my head laying on the floor by the bed in the morning. :) Hey, at least I can attempt to see some humor in the latest glop of mashed potatoes being slopped won onto my already full plate, huh? :)

G'nite everyone....

I'm pretty pooped this evening so I won't ramble endlessly as I normally do! :)

---> First off, there's been a lot of people here who've said some very nice things to me the last few days, and I'm grateful to all of ya! One person in particular gave me good enough reason to get out of bed and start my day. Since I'd probably be shot if I said who it was, I'll mention any names...but you know who you are, and I thank you!

---> Work was overall not too terribly bad today, albeit pretty tiring. With having felt so drained lately it's been a chore to muster up a whole lot of energy. Thank God my job primarily involves being on the phone...I can feel like hell but still sound at least halfway decent!

---> We're in for yet another blisteringly hot week here in North Carolina. I'm not looking forward to it at all. The good thing is that we're almost into fall now, so hopefully these smokin hot days will soon be a bad memory. Until next year anyway.

Well, that's about it for tonight. Hope you all have a good week!

This is going to be a short one tonight. It's late and I should already be in bed!

Last night, several months' worth of stuff came to a head for me. I've been in a pretty bad place for quite some time now and anyone who read my entry last night probably saw that.

Two things happened today. The first was I got an email from a friend and it made me remember that there truly are people out there who genuinely care about me. I can't stress hard enough how much I needed to read those words.

The second thing that happened was that another friend of mine through their adorable zaniness actually made me laugh today. Again...something I needed. Badly.

I've still got quite a way to go before I'm out of the woods on this one, but because of these two things today, I might just have a little bit of hope that I'll get through it.

That's it for now. I hope everyone has a great week ahead.

I'm in such a funk. A really bad one, and I don't know how to get out of it. What makes it even worse is that it's not even anything that's really earth shattering, but I've come to the conclusion that I'm running empty on the desire to fight my way out of it.

Anyone who's kept up with my blog here for any length of time knows just about my whole life's story. It's been a rocky road to say the least...I've dealt with both of my parents dying within a year and a half of each other; and then I lost my beloved grandmother who meant everything to me. I've had bouts with financial ruin, substance abuse, and losing my job. I got through all of that, albeit with quite a few battle scars and the knowledge that I'm a different person because of having survived these things.

I'm all fresh out of ideas on how to deal with this latest situation. In fact, I'm too battle weary to even put a whole lot of thought into finding a solution. I've all but admitted that there's just no sense in fighting anymore because even though I usually end up landing on my feet, it's only a matter of time until the next crisis comes along to throw my world into complete chaos.

As I said earlier, this latest round isn't what anyone else would call life altering..and some may even consider it quite trivial. The roomie and I were talking today about money. The mortgage is due, as well as all of the household utilities. Aside from that, I also have my own personal bills, such as renewing the tags on Christine the Truck..a task I should have had done three months ago. I also have auto insurance due as well as another personal obligation. All totaled, it's not that much, until you factor in the cost of just surviving from one day to the next. By the time that all is said and done, I'm lucky if I have $20 left to last me for an entire week. That's not even enough to pay for the gas to get me back and forth to work every week.

I've cut back on expenses to the point that there is literally no food in the house, I eat a bag of 75c chips from the vending machine at work for my lunch, and the ONLY place I travel to is work and home; and the occasional trip to the cousin's house. Other than that, I'm sitting here in front of the computer for my entertainment.

I know that there are a lot of people out there who are in far worse shape than I am. Hell, -->I've<-- been in much worse shape than this before! Maybe I'm sounding like an ingrate? Whatever the case may be, I'm tired.

I know that life isn't fair. I also know that life isn't supposed to be easy. Damnit though..why does it have to be such a fucking all out WAR just to get from one day to the next?

Alright, enough of the belly aching for one night. I'm going to bed. Maybe things will look better in the morning, though I don't hold out a lot of hope for that.