The good news is that I am feeling MUCH better today that I did yesterday. The BAD news is that I’m in payback mode. I learned today who was behind the rumor at work about me…AND that it didn’t make it around the office as I had been told. Long story short, CrazyMan was behind the whole thing and from what I found out today, he was trying to START the rumor. One of the people he’d told it to actually turned him in and he’s been reprimanded by his supervisor. However, he hasn’t been reprimanded by ME……YET.

So life is back to normal, at least on that front anyway.

Cindy is doing ok, although she is getting a bit stressed about the constant flow of people in and out of her house the last few days. Yesterday she actually did manage to have some time to herself..which as you can imagine, she desperately needed. Chris and I had dinner with her and then she actually turned off all the lights and went to bed. Rest is something she’s been in short supply of lately.

-----------------------à

In other news:

>>Did anyone hear that Dolly Parton has bought a bunch of grocery store chains? She bought the Big Star chain, Piggly Wiggly chain, and Harris Teeter chain. Although I can’t imagine WHY she’d want to own a bunch of grocery stores..but I do like the new name of the combined trio of stores:
Big Wiggly Teeters.

>>I had exactly ONE trick-or-treater last night. It was the little boy who lives next door to Cindy. Sweet kid, but he’s a little chatterbox! Unfortunately, I didn’t have any candy to give him, although I did consider giving him a package of Pop Tarts. They were the frosted strawberry kind, which is one of my favorites. So I just told him I didn’t have any candy. He wasn’t too disappointed…he got to play with my poodle Sammy. I guess that was his treat!

Well, that’s about all for tonight! Tomorrow is Friday…FINALLY!!! Now, if I can just get through Kevin’s service on Saturday, I’ll be doing good!

My week just keeps getting better by the day, and just think…I’ve still got two more days before it’s over! Why I’m just so excited about it that I think I’ll just go and jump off a bridge somewhere!

The morning started out much like any other morning…I got up three times to put the alarm clock on snooze and then finally got up around 6:00 a.m. Incident number one started as I was getting out of the shower…it dawned on me that today is Halloween and I was supposed to dress up as a pirate for work. Naturally, since I didn’t have much time to look for one of my shirts from back in my heavier days, I couldn’t find ANY of them. Not a single one. Apparently somewhere down the road over the last few years I’ve either given them all away or put them up in storage. So of course I had no choice but to forego the whole idea of being a pirate for the day.

Incident number 2 started as I got ready to leave. Since I wasn’t going by Chik-fil-A for breakfast, I was going to leave a little later than normal, which wouldn’t leave me a lot of buffer time if I got held up for some reason. So I start my truck and it starts that God awful squealing again. Normally if I let it run for a couple of minutes, it goes away. Not this morning. It squealed for a solid 10 minutes. Yes, I was quite livid at this point, so I gunned the engine a couple of times and it stopped…..just long enough to put it into reverse and start backing up. Then the squealing started again.

I came completely unglued at this point. My week has been hard enough without THIS bullshit happening. So I pull back up to my parking spot, turn the truck off and go slamming back into the house. I was VERY seriously considering just staying home from work today, but since I’m in that class I’m not supposed to miss any time unless it’s a critical emergency. So, I gave myself a few minutes to pull myself together and went back out to the truck. Turned the key…..yep….still squealing.

Unglued isn’t even CLOSE to being able to describe how I felt at that moment. I put the truck in reverse, backed up and then hauled ass down the street, squealing engine and all. It did that until I got about 5 miles from the house and then finally stopped. By then I was already so mad that I was literally shaking. I’m going to HAVE to get another car soon. When I do, I am going to drive that piece of shit truck to the junkyard and not leave until I see it put into the car crusher. I don’t think I’ve EVER had a vehicle that I hate more than this truck. And the next person who tells me how wonderful a Nissan is, I’m going to stab them in they throat with a rusty knife.

Wait though…it gets better. I get to work and as I’m walking across the parking lot, I run into a colleague of mine who is in the training class with me. As we’re walking towards the building, she slows up and tells me that she has to ask me something…then she gets this look on her face and says, “no actually I have to TELL you something….” Of course I’m a little baffled and I said, “well what is it?” And she says, “well, there’s a guy in class who was telling me & a few of the girls yesterday that he’s very upset about something that is going around the office.” I thought for a minute and I asked her what it was that was going around the office and who was it about. One look at her face and I knew I’d just answered my own question.

It seems that yours truly is the subject of a very hateful, vicious rumor that apparently has been going around for some time now, and there are quite a few people involved in this….MOST of whom I don’t even KNOW. I learned that the reason why so many people in the office ‘know me’ so well is NOT because of how well I’ve been doing my job, but rather because of this rumor. And here I just thought that I was being noticed for the fact that I’ve been supposedly “excelling” in my job after such a short time with the company.

I am so hurt, angry, embarrassed, and humiliated by this little revelation that I’m very seriously considering looking for another job. When the class went up to the floor I work on this afternoon, it was EXTREMELY difficult for me to even show my face on the floor, knowing that there are so many of them whispering behind my back.

I really do NOT need this shit right now with everything else that is going on…I REALLY REALLY REALLY don’t. I realize that the girl who told me about this meant well, but you know, sometimes there are just things that I’d be better off being kept in the dark about.

I have complained before about how slowly a week goes by in the past…I’ve learned my lesson and won’t soon be bitching about that anymore! These last couple of days feel like they have been going in super slow motion! I’m sure everyone knows exactly what I’m talking about…when GOOD things happen, it seems like time FLIES…but when something BAD happens, time just drags at a snail’s pace.

If there is anything pleasant that has come of Kevin’s death, it is the amount of really nice people I have met since yesterday…and how many awesome things I have heard about both Kevin and Cindy. You always expect when someone dies that you’ll hear all sorts of stories, but it’s just amazing the impact that Kevin (and Cindy) have had on the lives of the people they have known over the years. There is not one single person that I’ve met these last two days that is just a “casual acquaintance” of either one of them…they are all very close, and all for different reasons. When my father died, I met many of his former business associates, old classmates, etc., many of whom had not seen him in years. It was much the same for my mom, and even my dear grandmother. You sort of expect that when someone dies…not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it’s just sort of flabbergasted me that these are two people who have maintained close relationships with seemingly everyone they’ve ever met! That is just really cool in my opinion!

Ok, so enough with the sad stuff for a while. It’s too depressing being depressed, so I’m going to lighten the mood a bit.

You’ve all heard the Jeff Foxworthy bit about how to tell when you’re a redneck. If you haven’t, then clearly you were living under a rock for a good majority of the late 1980s and early to mid 1990s! Anyway, the thing about Jeff’s act was that he missed some of the other signs:

BryM’s Hints That You’re Probably A Redneck:

>>You’re not worried when the bank is about to foreclose on your home because you can simply hook it up to a tractor and pull it away because it’s on wheels….

>>You explain the dangers of smoking pot to your 3rd grader as you’re rolling a joint.

>>You explain the dangers of smoking cigarettes with a Marlboro Light between your lips.

>>Your first thought when someone dies isn’t how sad it is, but what kind of food you’re going to bring to the family’s home.

>>Ladies: You show up at your child’s elementary school PTA meeting wearing a dirty tank top with no bra, white stretch pants, and purple shoes…with your hair up in curlers.
Men: You quit a high paying job because it interferes with your ability to enjoy deer hunting season.

>>Your computer wallpaper is a picture of:
>a cold Budweiser
>your first single wide trailer that burned down in 1995
>the General Lee from The Dukes of Hazzard tv show
>your grandma holding the 15lb bass she caught at the pond

>>Your car is older than the ages of all your children, your parents, and you COMBINED.

>>You speculate that Dale Earnhardt isn’t really dead.

>>You use the word “bo” more than twice in one sentence.

>>You refuse to say “goddamnit”, but feel perfectly justified in using words such as “fuck”, “shit”, or “asshole”

>>Ladies: You sit on the front porch shelling peas and talk shit about your daughter-in-law
Men: You sit at the local country store talking shit about your wife talking shit about your daughter-in-law
>>Men: Your idea of dressing up is a flannel shirt, tight blue jeans, and a cowboy hat.
Ladies: Your idea of dressing up is wearing a cropped t-shirt that shows off the tattoo on your lower back, tight black jeans, and the high heels that your mother wore to her wedding in 1979.

>>You are devastated upon hearing the news that NASCAR races have moved out of North Carolina, South Carolina, and Georgia.

>>Men: You tell your wife that she’s as good in bed as her sister is…and she forgives you!
Ladies: You’ve been married three times..and never had to change your last name.

>>Ladies: You have to make a special trip to the local newspaper because they printed in your engagement announcement that you and your future husband have the same aunt. (That actually happened to a family member of mine..though the aunt relation was only TECHNICALLY by marriage!)
Men: You aren’t upset about the fact that the local newspaper printed that you and your future wife have the same aunt.

>>Men: Your wife is divorcing you because you spend more time hunting than you do with her.
Ladies: Your husband wins you back by taking you on a trip to Myrtle Beach, SC

>>You think the people who live in the county North of you are Yankees

>>You think that “Moonpies” are good..especially with a Pepsi to go along with it.

>>You don’t mind if your favorite restaurant gets a low sanitation grade because you’ve been eating there for years.

>>Your family “dowry” consists of the following:
>A box full of old Zippo lighters
>The deed to a piece of land that was long ago sold…to Yankees
>25 acres of land that won’t perk, is located in the middle of nowhere, and borders the trashiest trailer park in the county

>>You can properly pronounced the words “Fuquay-Varina”

Now…since I realize that there are those of you out there who hail from a different part of the country and may not be able to relate to my sure fire signs of being a redneck, don’t feel neglected, because I also have a list of sure fire ways to tell if you’re a Yankee:

>>You move from Pennsylvania to North Carolina to get away from the crowds and end up living in a subdivision where the houses are only 10 feet apart from each other.

>>You have no clue what grits are, but get offended when someone doesn’t know what a bratwurst is.

>>You move from New York to North Carolina and don’t bring a map with you.

>>You bitch about the “Barney Fife” State Trooper who gave you a speeding ticket and then continue to drive 85MPH in a 65MPH zone.

>>You move to the South because of the “hospitality” and then proceed to criticize every word and action of every Southerner you meet.

>>You think paying $5,000 for property taxes each year is a bargain.

>>You pronounce “Y’all” as “Yawl”.

>>You are offended because you can’t find a bagel shop with plenty of lox on hand.

>>You think potato bread is good.
>>You use butter on a sandwich instead of mayonnaise

>>You think Miracle Whip IS mayonnaise

>>You use think all potato salad tastes about the same.

>>You think that barbecue is shredded beef with bar-b-q sauce on top of it.

>>You have to ask what a pig pickin’ is.

>>You find nothing wrong with riding your bicycle down a country road while wearing a biking outfit you paid $300 for….complete with helmet.

>>You refuse to believe that a modular home is built just as well as a site-built home.

>>You think that paying $25,000 for a half acre of land is a bargain.

>>You move to the South and think you’re fitting in when you complain about all the Yankees who are moving to the South.

>>Your idea of going to the beach is spending the day at one of the Great Lakes or hanging out on a boardwalk.

>>You think nothing of putting money into a parking meter.

>>Your last name has as many letters as the alphabet.

>>You complain that your friends from back home keep saying you are developing a southern accent.

>>Ladies: You think your husband who grew up in Georgia is a mama’s boy because he goes to visit her more than three times a year.
Men: You are appalled at the idea of going to visit your mother more than three times a year.

>>You move to the South and think that buying a truck will make you fit in with the “local yokels”.

>>You use the phrase “local yokels”

Ok, well I could go on forever, but I’m pooped and it’s time for bed!

Good night everyone!

First and foremost, I’d like to thank every one of you out there for your kind words to me today. You all will never know how much all of your support these last several weeks has meant to me. I dare say that had it not been for my ‘virtual family’ I would not have been able to get through this time as well as I have. As for Cindy…she’s doing about as well as can be expected given the circumstances. She’s had an enormous amount of support today from all of the people who have grown to love her and Kevin over the years. Trust me when I tell you this…her house has been full all day and the phone has not stopped ringing.

Kevin had wanted us to promise that we wouldn’t cry when he did finally die. I told him then and I’ll say again…”it ain’t happening, my friend.” When someone like Kevin leaves this life, it’s an event worthy of tears. People like him are not found very often these days, and it’s a sad occasion indeed when this world loses someone like him.

The story of Kevin and Cindy is an interesting one. In his younger days, Kevin was what is commonly known as a “biker”. He and his friends rode in a group on their Harleys, hung out at bars, and basically just enjoyed life riding out on the open roads of Colorado. As is typical of most bikers, they may have been an intimidating looking bunch, but underneath all that leather were a group of very nice and caring guys. Cindy was in her younger days what you’d call a “biker chick”….she was tough, worked in a bar, and rode a Harley herself. She’d moved out to Colorado in her early 20s and loved the whole biker lifestyle that she quickly became a part of. Tough as she was though, she still had her ‘girly’ side….something that no man in her past had been able to see. Cindy’s opinion of “dating” was pretty grim…she thought that “dating” was for girls in pony tails and saddle shoes…so she very RARELY ever did it.

When she first met Kevin, Cindy had what was at that time her typical reaction…he might be good for a roll in the hay, but not much else. Or so she SAID. Secretly, she’d fallen in love with him from the first time she saw him. Six foot five, blond hair and blue eyes…and built like a brick shithouse! I saw pictures of Kevin from back then, and let me tell ya…he was what today’s women would call a “hottie”! haha Don’t worry folks…I’m not switching teams….just pointing out the facts! I’m sure Kevin is up there rolling his eyes at that last statement!

Anyway, Cindy had a very close group of friends that worked in the bar with her. They all sensed that Cindy was attracted to Kevin and they teased her unmercifully about it. Kevin didn’t help matters by trying to convince her friends to convince Cindy to go out with him!! So finally, after some time had went by, Cindy agreed to go out on a “date” with Kevin. In fact, from that night on, Cindy’s friends have always referred to Kevin as “THE DATE”!

That one “date” is all it took. Cindy and Kevin were instantly an “item”. They were complete opposites..Cindy is from New York…a very outspoken and sometimes obnoxious person…Kevin was very quiet, laid back, and basically didn’t say much unless he saw a reason to do so. That of course was also due in part to the fact that with Cindy around he couldn’t get a word in edgewise! Different as they were though, they were still soul mates.

Within a few months, Kevin asked Cindy to marry him. They had a beautiful wedding….very “rustic”…I could never accurately describe the wedding from the pictures that I’ve seen. Cindy was so young and so very obviously in love. Kevin was the same way. They made a very beautiful couple.

Not long after getting married, they made the decision to move back East, so that they could be at least a little closer to both of their families….but not TOO close! Kevin was originally from Michigan, and Cindy as I mentioned, is from New York. They decided on a little town named Fuquay-Varina after having visited a friend who’d moved close to the area. So they packed up their things and moved into a small old timey farm house just a few miles from here. After growing tired of paying rent, they decided to buy a house of their own. They finally found a small house in a tiny subdivision that only had one other house at the time. They weren’t too thrilled with the house at first because it had a very poor layout, but Kevin being as talented as he was in construction, decided that the place had good bones and he could do some remodeling. Besides, the street was very quiet and surrounded by woods…exactly the type of place they both wanted to live in.

Five years into their marriage, in 1991, Kevin was working at a construction site for a new building. He was on the top floor and because of another worker’s carelessness, he ended up falling off that top floor and hitting the ground hard enough to break every bone in his body. It was an accident that put an end to him working…forever.

The rest of the story I’ve already related in a previous post, so I won’t repeat myself. Suffice it to say though that even when they got on each other’s nerves, you would be hard pressed to find any other two people who loved each other as much as Kevin and Cindy loved each other. You’d also be hard pressed to find any neighbors like the two of them. I’ve also related before the story of how Chris and I came to be so close to Cindy and Kevin. Had it not been for the two of them, our time in this neighborhood would have proven to be very difficult for no other reason than we’re two guys living in the same house.

Kevin’s memorial service is going to be a fitting tribute to him. Cindy will be escorted to the service by Kevin’s biker friends on each side of her limo, each of them on their Harley. There will be no obituary in the paper. Those who knew Kevin do not need to read in the paper that he’s no longer with us. After the service, all of the people that he loved will gather at his house (a house he worked VERY hard on over the years!) for a party in his honor. He didn’t want any tears…but well, that’s just not something that any of us could promise him. I think he’d understand though.

Again..thank you to all of you out there who have showed so much kindness to me (and Cindy!) during all of this.

My mother used to tell me that no one is ever alone when they die, regardless of where they are or what time of day it happens. She said that when it’s your time to go, the souls of those who have passed before you will come down to escort you into eternity. I’ve always hoped that was true, because it’s terrible to think that anyone would take their last breath in this life with no one there with them.

This morning when I headed out for work, I saw Cindy sitting in the swing on her front porch. It’s the swing that Kevin used to sit in every morning when he’d let their two dogs out for their morning romp. He’d sit and watch them as the sun rose behind my house. He used to tell Chris and me that he was happy when we moved in because there weren’t any more groups of trees to block his view of the sunrise. I sat in that swing a few times over the years…but I never really understood what the attraction was.

About an hour after I got to work, my cell phone starts vibrating. I saw it was from Chris, and I knew it couldn’t be good news for him to call when he knew that I was in the middle of my class. There are times that I really despise being right about something, and a couple of minutes after that phone call was one of those times.

He was calling to tell me that Kevin died at around 8:00 this morning.

I left work as soon as I could and came home. There were already cars lined up and down my street, in Cindy’s driveway, and even in my driveway. I guess on the way home, I was hoping that I’d turn down my street and come home to find that Chris had made a horrible mistake, but seeing all those cars on the street was proof that reality had once again bitch slapped me. I parked my truck and went over to find a crowd of people already bombarding Cindy…between the people and the phone ringing off the hook, the poor thing couldn’t get a breath in!

After I made my rounds of saying hello to everyone, I started feeling very crowded. I don’t do well in large groups, so I snuck out onto the front porch for a cigarette. I sat in Kevin’s swing and looked over at my house. The sun was already high in the sky, but there was a very crisp breeze blowing just hard enough to let you know that it was there. I could hear the squirrels up in the trees chattering away and dropping their acorns to the ground, and of course the birds were chirping away as they always do in the late morning around here. So as I sat in the swing and enjoyed the view and the sounds of the morning, it finally dawned on me what the big attraction was.

Kevin now belongs to the ages…he’s a part of that slight chilly breeze as the sun is coming up in the morning, the sounds of the squirrels chattering, and the birds chirping from high in the trees. As long as I’m alive to see those sunrises, they’ll always remind me of him.