Don't get me wrong.....I like old people. They're very interesting folks when you get their stories of the way things were in days gone by, they're awesome cooks, and they love to spoil their grandchildren. God help them though, they can NOT drive!!!!!                                     Yep! It's time for another episode of "Driving with BryM"!!

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So here I am on my way to work this morning, driving down the highway minding my own business when I see about a half mile ahead of me this car going up the ramp to get onto another road. There was nothing unusual about THAT until I saw this car turn around and head back DOWN the ramp!! I said to myself, "I sure hope for that idiot's sake that no one gets onto the ramp!"

As I get a bit closer to the ramp, I speed up a little bit to get into the passing lane, ASSUMING that this BONEHEAD going the wrong way down the ramp is going to slip into the right lane. You can just take a wild guess what this MORON does....goes right into the LEFT lane!!! I have to slam on my brakes, swerve over into the right lane whereupon my truck begins to fishtail!!! My tires were squealing and I was praying that I didn't smash into this person....this thank GOD was one of the times when Christine the Truck showed her love for me!! By some miracle, I kept the truck under control and was able to survive the ordeal without crashing into anyone or anyTHING!!  

And then....it was ON!!!

After Christine corrected herself, I looked in my rearview mirror and saw that everyone that had been behind me had dramatically slowed down...almost as if they were EXPECTING what came next: I spotted the SHIT FOR BRAINS driver that had almost caused a hurrendous crash in my side mirror.....as it turns out, it was a woman whom I'm almost positive was old enough to have taught George Washington in high school!! I slowed down to let her catch up with me---did I mention that by "slowing down" I had to almost come to a complete STOP??!! She couldn't have been doing any more than 45MPH---in a 65MPH zone---on a major highway---in the PASSING LANE!!! So anyway, I let her get up beside me and what I saw next REALLY.....REALLY....pissed me off! She was wearing those dark plastic shades that you get when your eyes have been dialated at the optometrist's office!!! Not only was this woman STUPID, but she was also apparently BLIND!!!                                                                                                                    
   As I said before, I really DO like old people...but this particular old bat had just moved herself to the top of my shit list!! I rolled down my window, blew the horn and yelled things at her that I'd rather NOT repeat here.....and the heifer IGNORED me!!! Of course in hindsight, I'm guessing that on top of the whole stupid/blind thing she was also DEAF!!

After my attempt at hurling insults at this woman failed, I sped up and went about my business. A couple of minutes later I looked in my rearview mirror and saw the Jeep that had been behind me when I almost crashed into Granny Dipshit...the guy driving was laughing his ass off at me! Apparently he'd seen me stick my head out the window and yell at this woman!

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And in other news:

---> Each month at work we have a 'party' for the folks who have a birthday in that month. Ten dollars is collected from each person who wishes to participate and then the money is used to order food from a local restaurant. So yesterday I threw in my $10 for this lunch and was told we'd be having Japanese food (which I love ALMOST as much as Chinese food!)...and all was right with the world.                                                                                                                                                                   

   Today rolls around and I'm finding myself quite excited because not only was I getting Japanese food BUT it also meant that I wouldn't have to GO anywhere for lunch!! We were told the food would be delivered by noon, which was fine because that meant I could eat and THEN "go to lunch"....

So 1pm rolls around and still no food. Since I hadn't eaten breakfast, you can imagine that I was quite famished by that point. Then 1:15 rolls around and STILL no food so I decide to go outside and smoke a cig and make a phone call. This took a total of about 15 minutes altogether. When I come back inside I discovered two very ANNOYING things.....not only was the food not Japanese, but it wasn't even THERE anymore!! There was NOTHING left except for two breadsticks that looked like someone had taken a bite of and about a fork full of this nasty looking pasta stuff!! I was *NOT* happy. I had paid $10 for a fork full of pasta and breadsticks that had been gnawed on??!!

I go and sit back down at my desk *FUMING*....then one of the hens asks me, "aren't you going to eat?!" I replied, "Eat WHAT? There's nothing left!" I didn't say anything else on the matter other than "I'll be damned if I put money into THIS again...." A few minutes later I get a mass email from the lady who'd planned the thing asking, "Did everyone get to eat? If not, please let me know..." My response was short and to the point: "NEGATIVE". Within a couple of minutes, she came to my desk, apologized, and gave me back my $10. I found out a little later that I hadn't been the only one who'd gotten left out....my BOSS also didn't get anything!! He was no happier than I was about the situation as you can well imagine!

I think it's safe to say that even though I got my money back, I still won't be participating in this again! After what happened at MY birthday, I shouldn't have even given in this time, but oh well....

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That's about it for now...is it Friday yet??

I'm happy to say that my ear is feeling much better today....it's still not back at 100%, but I'll take 95%.... 

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I've been seeing this commercial on tv lately from the Chrysler company....."buy one of our vehicles and don't pay over $2.99 a gallon for gas for 12,000 miles blah blah blah.....

Now, I ask you...why would a car company make that kind of deal to the public if they weren't SURE that gas is going to stay well above $2.99/gallon for the foreseeable future? I smell a rat! Actually, I smell a conspiracy between the auto makers and the oil companies!                             

Yeah, I may be wrong...but chances are I'm right! Personally, I'm all about getting one of those gadgets that will make Christine the Truck run on water and hydrogen...or something like that. I heard about it on the radio. At this point, I'm ready to try just about anything so that I can flip a big ol' slimy booger onto every gas pump I see!!

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I did something this evening that I've been trying my best to put off....I updated my browser from Firefox 2 to Firefox 3.....I was putting it off because when I did the Beta versions it sucked! None of my add-ons worked....and any of you who use Firefox KNOW how depressing it is when your add-ons don't work!! But since today was the official release I figured I'd better go ahead and do it before it's forced on me. I have to admit that even though there are a couple of my beloved add-ons that don't work in version 3 [namely my "myspace toolbar"] I'm actually quite happy with it! I just hate the fact that I now have to manually log into MySpace until some developer comes up with a toolbar that's compatible with version 3. Yes, I'm a geek.

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Well that's about it for now....I've got to go and do some more exploring with my new browser!

Blech. That's about the most I can say about the last several days. I was beginning to wonder if I was going to have to recruit someone to ghost write this blog for me!! I did attempt an entry on Sunday evening, but I got halfway through the first paragraph and said 'fukit'......

Yes, yours truly has been ailing of late. I've had this issue with an ear ache for over a week now....it's not exactly your typical "ear ache" in that it's a constant pain....it's more like something that comes and goes, but always makes its presence known [if that makes any sense]....it's very annoying actually. I bought some stuff that I had hoped would help, but alas...it seems my problem isn't the result of a potato field in my ear! A friend told me yesterday, "You really should see a doctor when you aren't feeling well for more than a couple of days...." The reason for her concern? "You're not a YOUNG man anymore you know!"
It's always such a comfort to hear from a friend that you're an old beat down wreck of a person!! Sheesh!!

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So anyways, today I decided that I'd better get some writing done before everyone thinks I fell into a sinkhole or something!

Aside from my ear feeling like it's going to erupt at any time, things have been pretty normal [as normal as MY life can get anyway!] .......I got a guilt trip from my brother AND my sister because I wasn't able to attend my nephew's birthday party this weekend! Never mind that I wasn't feeling well on top of being a broke bitch!! My aunt did remind me of something though....neither my brother OR my sister have been to MY house in MONTHS!! AHA!! Ammunition!!                                                       Let them just TRY and give me a bunch of crap---NEXT time I'll be ready for them!!

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So that's about it for now.....until I'm feeling 100% (I'd even be happy with 95%) I probably won't be around a whole lot, so don't send the guys in the white coats for me just yet!

Take a look at this picture. I think it'd be safe for me to assume that most of us would agree that this is one UGLY house! However, after reading the article that was attached to the picture of this house, I soon found myself thinking that this is the most BEAUTIFUL sight I've ever seen!!! Let me explain......

Our local CBS affiliate ran a story this evening about how the above house has "shocked" and "dismayed" residents of Cary because of its color. "This is how it starts, one or two houses," a resident said. "If we don't address this issue, then I think it's going to get out of control."                                                                       Oh NO!!!! Could it mean???? INDIVIDUALITY RUNNING AMUCK IN CARY, NC??!! Folks, I'm all for people wanting to protect their property values.....but the people in Cary, NC take it WAYYYYY too far. When you have the GALL to get on TV and make statements like, "When I saw it, at first, I thought, 'Oh well, he's made a terrible mistake with color, and he's going to get a lighter color,'" neighbor Carole Tiffany said. "But he didn't." ....or "But the point is it's now affecting the community and other homeowner values." ....that's just carrying being a pretentious SNOB too a whole new level. Keep in mind this is a town that outlawed neon signs in the downtown area because they were considered "honkey tonk" by the town council.

The really frustrating part of this is that attitudes like those in Cary are not uncommon these days. I've heard that there are MANY communities around the country that are as bad, if not WORSE!! My question is when in the hell did some people get so snotty to the point that they think it's any of THEIR business what color their neighbor's house is? Or for that matter, what color ANY house in their city is?? The house next door to mine is this hideous brown/beige color....the one across the street from it is Tweety Bird Yellow, and Todd & Christi's place is babyshit green....all colors that I'd NEVER paint MY house....but you know what? I'd never presume to tell ANY of these folks that they should consider MY feelings or taste when picking a color for their home! My favorite color is blue, but Todd's may be green....that doesn't make me any better than him..or him any better than me. It just makes us different.                                                                                         

   So.....I propose that the snobs of this country just shut their pie holes and worry about more important things....like getting the damn gas prices down!!!!

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Ok...moving on to other things...

• I spoke to my aunt today...she's vacationing in Hawaii and decided it might be a good idea to call and ask what type of keepsake I'd like for her to bring back for me. NATURALLY my first request was one of those dancing hula girl dolls that you put on the dashboard of your car! Hey, I figured since I drive a beat up old truck I might as well make it as cheesy as possible! So what was one of the things she got me? Yep! I can't wait!! I'm going to be SO Huggy Bear [the pimp from Starsky & Hutch]!!!!
• My brother & his wife are a bit miffed at me. My nephew Bradley's birthday party is this weekend and I had to tell them today that I can't make it. They live 20 miles from me, and while that's not TOO awfully far away from me, with gas at $4 a gallon, I just simply can NOT afford to make any unnecessary trips!!
  

That's all for now!


        

***************WARNING************************
If you're offended by adult themed blog entries, you shouldn't read tonight's entry! I'm serious! I found this on the internet and I just HADDDD to share it! I'll be back with the usual stuff tomorrow!